You've Got To Give A Little...

Got into a discussion with my big brother the other day.
As much as after almost 36 years, he still loves to tease me as much as possible, on occasion he does come out with a wise little nugget of wisdom that has proven to be invaluable.

His advice to me:
"In life you've got to be a giver and surround yourself with givers. And cut the takers out entirely."

This is something that I wish I had learned way back in my formative years as a young girl. It would have saved me much heartache.

To quote Reliant K:

"Yeah I'll give give give until there's nothing else
Give my life until it all runs out
Give give and I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give..."

You might think this an odd choice of artists for me to be quoting, but this verse has been the unofficial, and unintentional motto of my life thus far... only I have had regrets.

You see - I am a giver... to a fault.


If there is a need, I will give my best to meet it.

If there is a hurt, I will give my best to heal it.

If there is conflict, I will give my best to solve it.

If there is loneliness, I will give my best to fill it.

The problem is that I don't know when to say no.
When to draw boundaries.
When to step back.
I give even when I have nothing left to give.

It's not good for me, and alot of the time it's not good for the receiver either.

This frequently leaves me a vulnerable target for takers.

I have learned the hard way that there are many takers in the world.
Takers that suck every ounce of marrow out of everything and everyone around them, but rarely - if ever - give anything back.

Pair up a chronic giver with a chronic taker and you are left with one person burnt out and used up, and another drunk on borrowed physical or emotional sustenance unable to function on their own steam.

On the flip side - pair a chronic giver with a chronic giver and you end up with a mutually beneficial and symbiotic relationship that results in the betterment of both.

This realization has brought about numerous changes in this past year:

I should give only in so much as I have the resources to give.

I need to be wise and selective in my friends that I allow into my emotional inner sanctum so as not to be sucked dry by emotional leeches.

I need to learn say no - and to not feel guilty about it - although this is the hardest lesson of all.

And I need to limit the impact of takers in my life, and actively surrounding myself with givers.


That balance will allow me to give, give, give knowing there will always be more, for in giving I will also be receiving from the givers around me.

Give my life knowing that it will be given right back to me

Give, give and I will truely have no regrets

Give until there's everything left through the bounty I have received from those around me.


Thanking the Good Lord for the givers in my life today!